Jump start...

Got to access this blog for 2 consecutive days and hopefully it won't be the last time today.. Been having the urge to write and all.. Anyways today was a pretty good day actually. Got to talk to someone important for I don't know how long coz of this stupid PLDT service.. Trying to open the topic if I can call the person but it think I would give it a rest coz it might look like I'm trying too hard.. So the day goes on and it kinda sucks for I didn't get to workout. Everyone said that working out should have rest days and stuff.. And I believe that too so tomorrow I'm gonna do extra for the rest I did today.. I learned that results doesn't come in an instant so I'm taking my time in having a healthy lifestyle.. No preservatives or anything that can jam my system. Funny thing is that I kinda relate everything to relationships.. Geez since working out only use skeletal muscles so I decided to use my brain aswell by thinking of ideas that would relate love to what I'm doing at the moment.. I had a little lesson that would give me a food for thought and it would be patience.. No matter how hard you try it seems that the results aren't showing up like it's supposed to be, right? Wrong! It's all up in our heads and how we look at the effort and result.. Effort may not bring the desired results if done in a wrong or awkward way.. Instead look at it this way.. Every effort comes a result in the end.. Good or bad it's still considered a result or an outcome.. Don't force the effort to bend the way you want it to.. Just take the effort slowly and feel it while being patient on the outcome.. Nothing that requieres development shows up in a day or two.. Do what ever effort that has been ongoing and amplify if necessary.. Make sure that the effort is being implied in the correct manner.. If the person says this then bend.. Don't force the issue and make it go the way you want it for it will break the connection inbetween.. Never get impatient for it will lead to desperation.. And believe me noone wants to be labeled as a desperate loser by anyone around them.. Do whatever basic style there is and go with it.. Just like waiting for a muscle to pop out from a desired part of the body.. Look at it in the mirror and see if there are any developments.. If not then there must be something wrong.. Change the position or so.. Same goes with relationship.. If nothing happens then there must be something wrong with the approach.. Try modifying it while it's still in shape.. Don't force the issue coz someone told you that this style works for all women.. Tell you what, most girls dress up like dolls thinking that it would catch the eye of every guy they pass by.. Well, not for me.. And I don't think I'm the only guy in the world who thinks the same way.. They are flirts and wannabes so why have a GF like that? Just be yourself and go with the flow of whoever you like and deal with it.. Don't like what the person really is in the end? Then talk about it and stay as friends.. Yes it's harder for girls to let go of a guy since they are the ones waiting for someone to come up to them.. Unlike guys, they go around and it's normal for them to ask a girl out since it's our nature to do so.. It would be weird and a huge turn off if a girl asked a guy out. So letting go for guys is nothing compared to that of the girls.. As I see it, maybe there isn't nothing going on in my love life but it's nothing to be bothered about since it would just ruin the whole mystery of who is out there for me.. Guys wait too for the right girl to be able to know if the girl is right or not.. Having that in mind makes the guy a decent suitor for he waits the right time and not drool over every girl in town.. For me, I'm just taking my time and effort for someone to be able to see if it's worth the wait and love.. I have failed once so it's natural for me to be cautious about this kind of things.. I don't care if my friends would tell me that I'm acting like a girl.. It would be my loss if I would follow everyone's advices to get all the number of the girls I see.. It doesn't work like that for me.. What if I jump too fast knowing the ledge is fragile and I fall before I realize it.. Commiting the same mistake twice is a very very stupid act for a human being.. I mean animals learn fast when they get hurt and try to avoid the danger by staying far away from it. And we are human beings capable of processing complex thinking with ease.. Then we spill the milk twice in the same place and manner? Don't think so.. I wouldn't want to be labeled as stupid.. Slow with girls is perfectly fine, but stupid with regards to relationships.. No way.. I'm not saying that I'm very picky and that I'm the perfect guy to think this way.. But look at it this way.. We only live once in this lifetime so why not get the best? Best doesn't mean the most goodlooking, smartest, coolest person.. But best with concern to your interest.. So what's my idea of a best girl for me? Everything simple.. No makeup, no perky accent, not trying hard to speak english, and usually helping her parents with everything.. Nothing really big but it's my preference. With all the double crossing girls out there, I think it would be the best thing if caution is being practiced..



So another long and weird post by a weird writer.. Anyways really bothered by the way I write.. It's not the same but I guess it'll do..:D Just happy that I can pour all of my thoughts in this blog again.. Oh and I got myself a weird source of happiness so I'm gonna share it in this blog.. I now have the waist line of 28 and I only weigh 63 Kg.. I have a waistline of a girl and that's good!haha Sorry for the perky happiness.. I know it's low but it's an achievement for meh! So I'm gonna sign out now.bye bye

Back again..

It's been a month since I've posted something new here. Stupid blog won't let me enter my account. Anyways I've got alot to talk about but I'm gonna summarize everything so it won't take up much space. I've been through alot this summer. Summer classes to start with. It was fun I was hoping that it was a little bit longer coz the people are easy to get along with. Next is the love part. Oh boy this is the hard part. Well, my phone was busted for more than a week and didn't get to communicate with friends. Plus my comp was acting up so I had to reformat it 3 times. Jesus Christ whats with electronics?! They hate me, I know.. So, it's a matter of momentum change and alittle of disappointment. It's not like I didn't remember or got tired, but sometimes it's just out of my power to do something about it. I know it has slowed down and it's back to the drawing board. Had the chance and all yet didn't grab it to the fullest. I learned that maybe if it couldn't stand the test of connection then it's nothing to be worried about. Why? coz if I would worry about nothing then I would get nothing in return. Knowing that nothing will happen 'xcept the fact that it would only be as strong as friends then so be it. It's not like I would die or something. That's the point of existence. Being with someone in the end of your lifetime. But hey, I'm still young and maybe I will find whoever will be there for me. Boredome has stricken the whole meaning of my actions and now I should pay the price of not being able to do something. That's the main lesson I've learned this summer. Wait for the results but don't get too engrossed for it will consume one's virtue that is categorized as patience. I'm pretty sure that I would only have someone beside me by the age of 28. It's no big deal. The only problem is that I already had a basis for having someone that would be there for me. Yet it was a failure for the lack of physical contact and communication. It feels good to be able to hold someone. I know how it feels and it would be in my system to look for someone that would do the same 'xcept the leaving me for another guy part. So here I am now waiting yet not getting impatient. Thought I was close enough but it seemed to drift away. I'm going to learn to disipline my self to not jump into conclusions for it would make my world break into a million pieces. I don't know if what ever I did still stands. I'm alittle nervous of going back to school for I don't know if it's still the same if ever I see what matters to me as much as passing through that certain building. Maybe it has died down and I would just try my luck the next time I admit something to someone. It's rare for me to do that and now I would be more cautious of my actions. Not to say anything until it seems to be the appropriate time to say so. I busted another chance and yet I don't feel lost. It's the principle of mine that every disappointment comes a lesson afterwards to not commit the same mistake in the future.


Love is always around just like the air we breathe. It's just a matter of inhaling in the right place. Whatever you cough out means it's not good for your body and whatever makes you feel energetic makes your body healthy. Same with the love that you make your heart overcome. If it makes you feel sick then stop. It's the most logical way for one to keep sanity in it's line. That's the second time I admitted and I won't be doing it in the near future I guess. Have to be 100% sure before saying it. The first time yes it was a success but after 2years time it failed. The second was confusing since I don't know how to initialize any affection for what I know is to maintain and not to start one. I don't know how I would face whatever lagging that I commited but it's life and shit happens most of the time. Just like an education with lots of stupid homeworks to suck the life out of every student.


There I guess it would be better if I finish off here for I might get to dramatic and that is not my kind of thing. Hopefully someone would read and understand this post for I don't know what happened to my writing style. Maybe it's still the same but I feel that it has changed a bit from reading to much Shakespear novels and love stories. Damn! What going on with me?! I'm like a lovesick person who can't even initialize a conversation with the opposite sex. Geez, anyways this post would end here.... Pzzzt

Up in the clouds!!!

Finally I can open my blog. It's been a long time since I updated.tsk Anyways this entire week's like an illusion to me. Never thought I would tell her that I like her and that I would talk to her on the phone for almost an hour. Actually it's been going on for like four days now. Well not everyday since I don't want to bother her that much. Everytime we talk I feel like time stops and there's a deep feeling of bliss inside me. The entire conversation's like a time machine that stops everything that isn't of the concern for that moment. But ofcourse I also get annoyed coz the conversation cuts due to the fact that there isn't much credits left on my account. Damn Smart telecom! Can't they atleast copy Sun for an unlimited talk?! Geez everytime it cuts I feel like something is missing.. Coz there's so much to talk with her and I feel like the entire night's not enough for it. I just keep in mind that there's always tomorrow and it would be another day where I get to talk to her again..hehe Now I'm thankful of FlashGear public chat program.. Without it......my summer would be dull and colourless.. Since it all started there.. Hmmm I wonder if she feels the same.. But anywho it doesn't matter as long as I make her laugh and all.. Atleast I keep her company even for some minutes of the late night..

Wow the entire post's about her.. nice nice, but why keep it inside when I can express it?hehe I like expressing to people alot. But it depends really on who and how. It all made me think of why there's a fine line between fear and love. Fear is there to supplement love in some ways. I mean how can you keep love without the fear of losing it? Love wanders around and when it stikes your heart, you don't want to let go for the feeling it gives is beyond compare. It think Cupid shoots the arrow only on one person and the other arrow is being given to that person inlove. Now, it all depends if that person is willing to shoot and hit.. And the other person's like a moving target that needs patience and perseverance to make a direct hit. Getting all impatient and annoyed would make the person miss thus creating a pool of annoyance since there was only one arrow left to use. hmmm maybe I still have the arrow in my hand....or have I launched it through the air.. dunno can't tell 'til it lands on the target.. Hopefully it does..hehe

Another case of dismay..

Shit happens for a reason and this is one of them.. Although I'm disappointed at myself right now it's not going to be a headache for my part anymore.. I've done nothing wrong and there isn't anyone to blame.. All I did was to be honest of who I was and show what it is like to be different from the other guys.. But hey, if it didn't work then there is still someone that'll notice and maybe in return give the same deal.. Being turned down doesn't mean that I'm no good of a person.. It just shows that I'm not the right one so why be troubled with the idea of what would happen next? Respecting the female counterpart is not every guy's motive so if it's not every girls dream to have someone who thinks this way then there will be someone else to show it.. I don't think it's really hard to find one who thinks the same way with regards to girls.. If I exist then there should be one out there that thinks the same way I do.. I don't cry coz I have to be strong for the one in shambles, I respect for me to be respected, I keep fidelity a golden rule for hoping I would be treated likewise, I stay calm for nothing exists without a solution, I give whatever is needed to the situation for it to stay the way it was.. Rocking the boat isn't my thing so if it's not going to work that way then stop.. Shift to another and find what's best for me.. No signs of the girl liking me? Then there will be some other who will eventually give.. Can't force the issue on things more so if hope is not on my side.. Even the greatest of warriors can lose hope if the signs of success is narrowed down to despair.. I'm just a simple guy and no matter what I do there isn't anything more discombobulating than having hope on something that is of an illusion.. I like the person alot and if the person doesn't like me back then why push? The thousands of girls I see everyday, I haven't felt this way but if it's not going to be a right path then I should go back and wait for another road to open up and maybe cross it if the signs point to "yes go for it".. The person was perfect for me but I wasn't perfect.. Ok now it's absurd to think this way but puzzle pieces sometimes fit on the wrong side yet it looks perfect.. It's a matter of knowing the figure and making it match to complete the puzzle.. Like they say "To show true love you shouldn't just appreciate the rose alone, but love the thorns aswell".. This is what I did yet it didn't show how much I sacrificed.. I will then let the rose down and see who can take good care of it.. For it seems that I'm not the right heir for it's heart.. If I can find my princess then hopefully for her I can be her prince.. I haven't given up just yet but I know that it'll go nowhere for how will she know if I don't say it.. Is it wrong to like someone and make it unknown to anyone who opposes such idea? Why hide such feelings when they are there to be expressed? It's not the concern of anyone but the couples for they are the ones making each other happy with every moment that they are together.. There will be someone out there who thinks the same way.. I just know it..



Ok that was long.. well just pouring what I feel here even if I can't express it to the person for there is a hindrance.. Either sign is fine with me just aslong as I know what the person thinks.. Rejection is also acceptance in a negative way for it repels you to a lower level.. Can't like me back then she accepts me as a friend.. So why fret, eh? Anyways I know she doesn't like me so not going to be bothered by the thought as to tell her or not what I feel.. Not like before where I plan and get all rushed if I'll tell her or not.. If the person doesn't want me to say it then fine by me for it's no big of a deal.. So that's it for now.. Btw don't watch Sunshine! The movie sucks like a broken vaccum. Sucks at sucking that's how bad it is.haha Don't waste your money for that stinking movie! I mean going to the sun and not get burned?! Geez so Science is not having any arguments on this?

How do you know you're inlove?

I just get the feeling that I'm really struck down by love when certain signs show up and this is what happens
1.Not able to sleep the requiered 8 hours coz daydreaming about her is better than just plain dreaming of her..
2.Not eating coz just by thinking bout the person's enough energy for me..
3.Talking to the person even if she's down to keep the company..
4.Knowing her interests to match it up with mine..
5.Disregarding past misunderstandings and make her feel that nothing happened
6.Always online to talk to her even if my moods not in the right place for she uplifts it in a matter of seconds when she replies..
7.Understanding her situation and not taking things on a rush..
8.Showing signs that she can channel out her troubles to atleast comfort her..

Now she's got me in a rush yet It's like a dream that makes me feel so relaxed..

What do you posses that got me this feeling of bliss??

What do you do?

Now I'm getting alot of questions on what to do if a girl turns you down.. Well for me if the girl turns you down try one more time if it doesn't work then that's the time to stop. Being persistent is not that appealing even if it shows determination.. Just leave the issue behind and not rock the boat.. If she turns you down then it doesn't mean that you two are compatible. Guys should also be considerate of what girls want and not think of their own interest alone. Isn't it a nature that you give the person you like what they want. If they want another person then give. It's not like you can force them to like you. And if you know that you're not a player and that you respect girls then just think that it's their loss not yours. Since they didn't give consideration a chance to know how you look at relationships.. It would only be your loss if you're the player type who just wants fun and all. Since no decent girls would look for a guy like that..

Nothing to hold me back...

So now the only motivation to keep me forward is myself.. If the recepient's not happy with the determination then who else is but me.. There are lots in my mind for me to dwell on one thing.. Now one aspect is lost and the only way is to shift to another drive.. And that is to concentrate on my fields of interests.. Martial arts, diploma, and writing.. These three won't ever fade so why not stick to them as my main source of motivation? To excel in these fields is what I have in mind and nothing can change that now. If people change so does the certain inspiration associated with it. So if it shifts to something that never changes then that means there is no way to lose such drive. It's like hanging on a ledge that will never crack and the only mode of losing it is not to get a tight grip.. Wherein with a human being it's like holding on a ledge that's made of clay.. Once handled wrong it breaks and you fall on the ground with every living cell in your body gasping for the breath of life once more to be able to climb back up.. Who wants to fall anyways? I don't.. And that gave me the insight that noone can make your dreams but you yourself.. Never depend on a living thing for it breaks and it's never consistent.. The one consistent is what your perception on the things around you.. It is hard to keep a constant determination with humans while physical motivation depends on the one receiving the stimulus. Now it all depends on how I'll keep on my grip on the ledge and not stay there but to move upward. It's either I lossen my grip or fight the fatigue and eventually step on the ledge giving me a warm feeling that I've accomplished the first level.. The finish line is just waiting for me to cross it and hell I will with nothing to trip me on my way for it.. Afterall the three goals of mine mentioned above gives me enough energy to live.. Martial arts: for me to express myself physically and keeps me in shape Writing: to express myself in an abstract manner and to increase my creativity Diploma: a sign of achievement in life and to live in a pleasant road to success.. There is no room to be emotional for it lags the process of obtaining such dreams.. I'm mature enough to be dragged down by something that can never be fixed. If I handled people trying to bring me down coz I'm 20 years old but still in 1st year then this is just like an ant's bite. Every organ in my body's still working perfectly fine so why play dead if I can still stand up. Play the game by the rules and discharge every negative factor that comes in the way even if it takes a blood bath!!!



My bad got it all tied up in a mess and now struggling to be free. Can't go on lying down and getting depressed over my faults. What's done is done and the only way to go is forward. I've learned my lesson to think ten steps ahead before making a move. I'm not afraid to express what I feel but I gained a new knowledge to wait for the right time. To express is to let someone know what you think and how you deal with things. What's wrong with that? It's better to let it out rather than contain it and let the event get all restless. Timing and courage is the key to obtain the desired results.



More work and less sleep!!!!!