Monday, June 06, 2005
I thought that time can heal any misunderstanding?? And why do I still feel shitty up to now?! She was my first so I guess I'm gonna have to give more time to this stupid shit feeling of mine.. I even told her that she is my first and last and I think that will stay for long as I know.. Last....probably, after what she did to me I don't think that I would want to feel the pain again....The feeling of rejection and low self-esteem.. I don't care if I'm fat and ugly... Stupid people trying to judge me should just go mind their damn shit bussiness and die.. So what if I'm ugly?? And what makes them think that they're so beautiful or handsome?! I won't even bother on listening to stupid depressing love songs that gives false hope.. Metal metal metal!!! that's the music for the newly broken hearted it gives the strength of standing up after being beaten down by a loved one..
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Damn!!! Just broke up with my GF and now all that's left of her is a scar that she gave me.. Nice!!! Always thought that she was the one but it turns out that I was wrong.. I made a huge mistake of giving my everything to her...... I respected her and all with all my heart and soul but I don't think that was enough.. If it was then why did she go with another guy?! The last words were "I'm sorry Felipe but I found someone betterlooking"...WHOA!!! What gives!!! For the love of Christ what's with that statement?? Thought we had something much deeper than physical attraction? I was just another guy that turns out to be a real doofus by giving too much.. Is this the end?? I know that I'm not the greatest guy alive but how many guys can you see turn down seducing girls around school????? I'm not trying to impress anyone here but all I'm saying is that all the while I thought being conservative was a sign of a good guy trying to have a real relationship.. I'm not after anything physical, just her attention and passion for this relationship. Was I asking too much from her?? I don't know............I really don't know.. Maybe I was too jealous or I didn't meet her standards of a "goodlooking" guy..... What a way to bring down my self-esteem! I always had this mentality that for a bird to survive and stay in your hand, one should hold it just right not too loose for it will fly and not too tight for it'll suffocate.. That was what I did but it didn't work.. SHIT!!!! this isn't happening to me damn..................... I would rather be dead than be with this stupid feeling of suffering...... Fuck this I hate this crap all of those inlove be careful of what you are going to give.. When I was with her all I felt was happiness, passion, and love.. Now it's hatred, dispair, annoyance, disgust, and anger.. Oh well, shit happens and the shit now is this relationship that we once had....Thanks for your loyalty.. This is such a Mother****ing experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!