Sunday, May 27, 2007

Back again..

It's been a month since I've posted something new here. Stupid blog won't let me enter my account. Anyways I've got alot to talk about but I'm gonna summarize everything so it won't take up much space. I've been through alot this summer. Summer classes to start with. It was fun I was hoping that it was a little bit longer coz the people are easy to get along with. Next is the love part. Oh boy this is the hard part. Well, my phone was busted for more than a week and didn't get to communicate with friends. Plus my comp was acting up so I had to reformat it 3 times. Jesus Christ whats with electronics?! They hate me, I know.. So, it's a matter of momentum change and alittle of disappointment. It's not like I didn't remember or got tired, but sometimes it's just out of my power to do something about it. I know it has slowed down and it's back to the drawing board. Had the chance and all yet didn't grab it to the fullest. I learned that maybe if it couldn't stand the test of connection then it's nothing to be worried about. Why? coz if I would worry about nothing then I would get nothing in return. Knowing that nothing will happen 'xcept the fact that it would only be as strong as friends then so be it. It's not like I would die or something. That's the point of existence. Being with someone in the end of your lifetime. But hey, I'm still young and maybe I will find whoever will be there for me. Boredome has stricken the whole meaning of my actions and now I should pay the price of not being able to do something. That's the main lesson I've learned this summer. Wait for the results but don't get too engrossed for it will consume one's virtue that is categorized as patience. I'm pretty sure that I would only have someone beside me by the age of 28. It's no big deal. The only problem is that I already had a basis for having someone that would be there for me. Yet it was a failure for the lack of physical contact and communication. It feels good to be able to hold someone. I know how it feels and it would be in my system to look for someone that would do the same 'xcept the leaving me for another guy part. So here I am now waiting yet not getting impatient. Thought I was close enough but it seemed to drift away. I'm going to learn to disipline my self to not jump into conclusions for it would make my world break into a million pieces. I don't know if what ever I did still stands. I'm alittle nervous of going back to school for I don't know if it's still the same if ever I see what matters to me as much as passing through that certain building. Maybe it has died down and I would just try my luck the next time I admit something to someone. It's rare for me to do that and now I would be more cautious of my actions. Not to say anything until it seems to be the appropriate time to say so. I busted another chance and yet I don't feel lost. It's the principle of mine that every disappointment comes a lesson afterwards to not commit the same mistake in the future.

Love is always around just like the air we breathe. It's just a matter of inhaling in the right place. Whatever you cough out means it's not good for your body and whatever makes you feel energetic makes your body healthy. Same with the love that you make your heart overcome. If it makes you feel sick then stop. It's the most logical way for one to keep sanity in it's line. That's the second time I admitted and I won't be doing it in the near future I guess. Have to be 100% sure before saying it. The first time yes it was a success but after 2years time it failed. The second was confusing since I don't know how to initialize any affection for what I know is to maintain and not to start one. I don't know how I would face whatever lagging that I commited but it's life and shit happens most of the time. Just like an education with lots of stupid homeworks to suck the life out of every student.

There I guess it would be better if I finish off here for I might get to dramatic and that is not my kind of thing. Hopefully someone would read and understand this post for I don't know what happened to my writing style. Maybe it's still the same but I feel that it has changed a bit from reading to much Shakespear novels and love stories. Damn! What going on with me?! I'm like a lovesick person who can't even initialize a conversation with the opposite sex. Geez, anyways this post would end here.... Pzzzt

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