Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Drift Away....

People would ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. My answer was that I need not one right now. I know my answer is quite vague and blurry. Need I say more if I can live my life without one? I mean I'm still young and a girlfriend is not the answer to complete every aspect of my life as of now. I still have dreams and tasks to concretize and it would only be a diversion if I had to focus my attention on a girl. I can live with my interests for now without any trouble of worrying if I would be lonely forever. Now is not the time for me to trouble myself of such petty thoughts of eagerness. Falling inlove would only involve in a pool of thoughts that would never go away unless done in a right way. It's like handling fire. If you touch it you would get hurt but if used in a correct manner it would do benefits and make life easy. So I'm taking my time to find her and stuff. Boys and girls are alike in a way with concern to relationships. We all wait for the right person to pop out. The only difference is that boys are the active waiters and girls are the passive ones. What do I mean by this? Us guys wait for the right girl and do the initial move to attract the girl. While the girl waits and attracts the guy afterwards or so. It can be the other way around for the girls, but whatever comes first the boys should be the ones who initiates the move. It would be weird and a huge turn off for a girl to tell the guy that she likes him and the guy hasn't made a move or something. In my behalf, it would be a long time before I wouldtell a girl what I feel. For the two times I did it, it all went wrong at some point in time. The first would be not to be too attached whileleaving nothing for oneself. And the second is that I should look beforeI leap. There's no regret for me doing this since every mistake I did is a valuable lesson to find the right one for me in the future.None of this has been a burden for my emotional aspect in life. No,I am not impatient but to blurt out the truth is that if the girl doesn't show any signs then why pursue? I mean it would look like I'm a hopelessloser with no dignity trying to please someone that had no interest inme from the start. Let's say I do get her attracted to me. Then what?It's like trying to be someone else and that would be a problem in the future. I admit that I had done a mistake in saying it but not a problem for me. Now I know that I should be a hundred percent sure that our interests match without me trying so hard to fit in. It's the best type of attraction. Getting attracted the natural way instead of the physical and persuating way. I know that I might have seen her, but I'm not goingto do the same actions I did before. I should wait and see if the signs are really pointing to a direction that is applicable to me. I jumped into conclusions and it turned out that it wasn't what it seems. So to avoid any misunderstandings with this one, I'm gonna wait and sit backto see if my intuition's right for once. I won't get emotionally attached this time for it will bring despair once too close. I'm single and happy with my status. Nothing to worry about unlike recently where I wouldwonder if what I'm doing was right or not. Disattached and faraway is the right thing for me to be able to know what's up her head for now.Not involving emotions for awhile and putting logic as the front line of defense to keep sanity intact. Everything was connecting until shehad to leave. She was here for the summer and now the chance will only flourish every summer. I should wait for that time and moment for I know it's worth it. For now, there's nothing that can distract me since there's noone to see in where I study. The university is now an empty space for me to be free. No worries of seeing someone and getting alltoung tied for some unknown reason. Yes, I know it's not appropriate to disconnect right away. But why wait for nothing? It's like trying to see if there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's the last thing that I would like to happen to me. Getting all worned up for an empty hope of happiness. Now I'm happy to be out of the worries that was once my pool of thougts. My conclusion is correct and now I'm going to stick to it. Nothing's happening? Then stop.. That's what I did so I shifted to see if there's really another pot of gold somewhere else. Maybe this is it.. Although the pot of gold is far from the region I live in. Left last saturday and going back next summer.. I'll see about what will happen then.. I know that I have lost to a school rival and now it's not that significance or any burden to my actions. What's done is done. Gonna have to see what this new attraction has brought me..

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