How to start?? Ok so why am I happy today? Very happy actually!! Well I felt like shit when I woke up so I thought that this would be a gloomy day.. To start off, I had never seen alot of people so depressed.. All of my classmates feel shitty and I was no stand out.. But it all changed after lunch.. Jesus Christ!!! I was trying to see an oppurtunity to talk to her.. Was hoping real hard that the moments would make us meet so I can finally talk to her and be able to know what she really thinks of me.. Ok ok my friend told me that he saw her go to P Noval so I tried to stay there for awhile but no sign of her.. I just gave up and went to Plaza Calderon with my friends.. And guess who enters the gate?? It was ******, so I suddenly stood up and followed my friend that was going to buy siomai.. I was trying to gather up my thoughts on how to talk to her and be confident enough to be presentable.. So what happened when she passed?? You guessed it, another TORPEdo passed!HAHA I was holding a straw to look like I was buying something and just waved at her.. What happened to the "Gonna talk to her" plan?? Oh well so I was alittle disappointed coz I felt stupid and not courageous enough..*sigh* I don't know if my friend was joking around when he told me that she looked back two times or something.. Anywho I took this personality test in the guidance office so it took most of my afternoon time.. 566 questions!! what the hell!! So I came home and looked at her status in YM and she was offline so I didn't bother on looking at my computer that much.. Feeling all cramped up I just tried to relax with some yogurt and chocolates at the other room.. And when I came back....guess what?? She's online!!!WOHOOO ok ok i tried to arrange my thoughts and said hi and from that statement came a long long chat.. Actually started like 5 o'clock till 12.. ofcourse there are intervals but that's still a long chat!!haha So I can go up to her on Monday coz she doesn't (insert verb here) hint: what dogs do when they get mad at something..well I guess that's too much info but what the hey just figure it out.:p we played a game and I asked something in the end of our talk which was her (insert noun here) hint: it is infinite either way around..
Ok, so that's basically what happened to me today.. it's not really the exact feeling while writing it down.. Coz if it was, then I would be writing a real novel.haha but u know I feel sad when I know that she's sad.. I don't know why I had this thing that whenever I get close or talk to the person I am able to tell exactly what they feel.. To the girl that knows that I like her (it's obvious)haha do you really feel this way?? Like a wave that depends on the wind to shift her mood? Well it's like there was this person annoying the girl I like.. I know that it seems that as if I'm trying hard to be sympathetic but no.. Ofcourse I can't exactly explain what she feels in just a blog coz like I said before that emotions are abstract and cannot be physical.. ok you don't believe me? Try this: describe three things inside your room pen, desk, computer etc.. Now try to describe three emotions love, anger, happiness etc.. If you do can describe emotions I would like to see your description.. Post it as a comment.. Describing just one emotion is hard enough what more with mixed emotions just like what she feels? It's like the mixture of happiness and at the same time being pressured with alittle guilt.. Actually Sadness is just an illusion we make..It is a fake emotion.. Why you say? Simple, people are beings of love, compassion, and understanding.. These traits lead to happiness and can never dwell on sadness.. So why does sadness exists? Coz we made it exist.. We make our own problems and struggles in life.. We are the creators of our own mishaps.. Noone is to blame for what goes wrong.. Have you ever wondered that what we think is good will actually kill us someday? I mean we think that having nuclear weapons would make the country safer and stable.. Think the other way around.. What ever you build by physical means will destroy only of what is physical.. That is because we think and we seldom feel.. I think that I think this..that's pure BS! Feel what is good for you and not think about it.. Have you ever wondered why dreams occur during sleep? Coz it is when our thinking part of the brain is shut off and the emotional part is opened up.. Dreams are creative little scenes in your mind to make you feel what you really are.. Dreams talk to you and they talk by means of relation to this physical world.. What I'm trying to say here is that one should feel before you act and not think before you act..
Not to be weird but I know when she's sad and annoyed.. You know, hiding emotional pains by means of smiling is a nice way to show the people around you that nothing is of the trouble.. But your aura doesn't lie.. Emotions radiate and It depicts what you are thinking and feeling at the moment.. No matter how much you try to smile and act as if nothing's wrong, I can still sense it.. Nope, I'm not an alien but there are just some people that can see what others cannot..
By the way I think you know that I know that you know who the girl is in this blog..(confusing??)haha hmmm probably while reading this you have a small grin in your face..right?haha I've noticed, the girl here has been the inspiration for me to write this stuffs.. You know who you are..DUH!!!..HAHA
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