Hey, I know that movie....That was once my love life

Just finished watching "The Notebook" and it wasn't really a happy experience for me.. I got flashbacks of what happened to me before.. Not that I haven't moved on, but the past will never be erased.. My memories are there to hunt me 24/7 and it's driving me insane.. I'd really pull the trigger in my head if it happens to me again.. The first time's a lesson the second time's suicide.. I mean my EX's mother telling her not to go with me coz I'm poor and not too appealing.. Ahhh damn what does money got to do with love? I don't show her material things coz I don't want her feelings to depend on it.. What if I don't have the money to buy her things anymore? So she'll leave me hanging like a piñata waiting for someone to kill me.. Love should not be expressed with material things since it will contradict the essence of it.. Well can't fight the wind so I just accept that most girls are like that.. I think around 99.99% of them are materialistic.. Geez The freaking last words "I'm sorry Felipe, but I've found someone better looking". It never goes away no matter how hard I tell myself that she's just after the fun..